Lest we Forget

• November
• 9

Remember me, when it you see …

Years ago, when I was setting up my very first home, I had very little other than the clothes on my back.  Do you remember how much it takes to set up home for the first time?  A LOT! And you just don’t realise until you do it!  Just the little things like a broom, a mop, sheets, towels and crockery – let alone the big stuff like furniture, a fridge and washing machine.

So when one of my friends bought new bedroom furniture and passed her old dressing table on to me, I was just thrilled to bits.  It meant so much to me.

That was nearly 25 years ago and to this day, whenever I am dusting my dressing table – even though the old one Jenny gave me has long since been replaced – or cleaning its mirror, I still think of Jenny. We lost touch a number of years ago, but there is something about dressing tables that always reminds me of her. I remember some of the good times we had together, and I pray for her as I polish and clean.

Whenever I’m cleaning my dressing table, I think of Jenny.  She never said to me “REMEMBER ME, WHEN IT YOU SEE”, but I still think of her fondly whenever I look at it.

Perhaps you have a friend or loved one who has moved away.  Before they left, perhaps you gave them a parting gift, a memento such as a photo or a fridge magnet. You gave it as a token or symbol of your love and friendship. No doubt, your intention was that your friend would feel comforted and remember the good times whenever she looks at it, even though you are now far apart.  It’s something to bring cheer in the hard times, because it celebrates the good times.

Maybe this is why Jesus left us with the symbols of the bread and the cup – such common, everyday items. Of course today we tend to associate only the bread and cup served during communion with Jesus. But I want to challenge you to think about the bread and cup as a token of Jesus’ love and regard for you – every time you eat your lunchtime sandwich, or sip a cup of tea. Reflect on the good times you’ve had with Him: the way He’s spoken to you through the Bible, or the time you have spent talking to Him in prayer. What about the joy of seeing your prayers answered? Or the opportunities He has given you to reach out and help others in His name, and to give? Treasure all that He has done for you, and all that He means to you. Celebrate the good times with Him, and find comfort in Him in the bad times.

No matter where or when you taste bread or drink from a cup, I think
Jesus would whisper to you each time:

REMEMBER ME, WHEN IT YOU SEE.

Is there a household task, or an item in your home, that always makes you think of a particular friend or loved one?

Inoculated?

• November
• 6

Inoculated:  past participle, past tense of in·oc·u·late (Verb). Treat (a person or animal) with a vaccine to produce immunity against a disease.

Mr 17 and Miss 15 (along with her best friend) still come with us to church each Sunday, although their attitudes sometimes leave a lot to be desired. They often sit during the singing or look sulky or bored. Miss 15 and her friend try to draw, pass notes on their phones, or whisper until we put a stop to it.

My hubby and I often like to discuss the sermon after the service, and if we’re really lucky and the speaker was unusually entertaining, they might even have listened!

So you can see why I am concerned that in raising our children in a Christian home, we may have inoculated them against Christianity rather than infecting them with it.

Of course raising our children to love and follow God involves much more than weekly church attendance. My husband and I are the first to admit that we are sinners and in need of God’s grace. We often get it wrong. But we have done our best to demonstrate to the children that God is important to us in our everyday lives.

We say grace before meals and have prayed with our children before bed ever since they were tiny. We’ve read them Bible stories, and they’ve seen us regularly read or turn to our Bibles for wisdom or inspiration. I’ve always loved listening to praise and worship music, especially when in the car. We went to a family connect group together for years (and only stopped going last year due to circumstances beyond our control).

They have watched us pray for others, ask for and receive forgiveness, show mercy and grace to each other, try to practise generosity, and serve the Lord joyfully with our gifts and talents. As a family we have worked together to bless others or help those in need.

Just last week they wanted to know WHY they have to go to church. Like most teenagers, their arguments were pretty convincing!

Despite being in the same church for most of their lives, they don’t have any real friends there and often nag to leave as soon as the service is over, while Lawrence and I would prefer to linger over a cuppa and share some fellowship with others. When I remind them it’s about honouring God and learning about Him they are quick to remind me back that they can honour and worship Him anywhere!

At the end of the day though, Lawrence and I pull rank and tell them that until they reach adulthood (and the jury’s out on when that is, needless to say it could be quite soon as Mr 17 will graduate high school in only a couple of weeks and turns 18 in a few months!), our family goes to church together on Sunday, end of story.

I am clinging to the hope that as long as we regularly bring them into the House of God, something, somehow, might just rub off on them (even if it’s subconsciously!).

Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t complete heathens! They both loved God as little ones, as you can read here. To this day, Mr 17 will often come and ask us to pray for him if he is going through a difficult situation, or some amazing words of wisdom will pop out of Miss 15′s mouth, and we are reassured that God does indeed have His hand upon them.

It’s hard being a teenager when there are so many other demands on your time and attention than God. There’s friends, the opposite sex, peer groups, fashion, study, money, work, learning to drive, cars, having fun, planning a career, music, Facebook, computer games, TV, phones, developing a “look” and identity …

Of course we’ve prayed much for our children over the years! God does promise in Proverbs 3:5 that we should “train up a child in the way s/he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” – like many parents, we’re hanging on to that! But it doesn’t say that they won’t depart from it at all, or that they will stick to it as young adults – rather when they are “old”.

I think of when Christ became a reality in my life – although I first invited him into my heart as a 13 year old, I was 27 and a mother of one before I began to develop a relationship with Him.

So no matter how disinterested might teens might be in going to church at this point in their lives, I believe there is hope for my kids yet. I’m hanging on to God’s promise: that they will have “caught” the faith, rather than been inoculated against it!

What do you think? What age did (or would) you let your kids stop coming to church with you?

Sandgate Children’s Home

• November
• 4

The Friday Files – A couple of months ago I found out that my Mum had passed away – four and a half years ago!

Obviously ours was not a “normal”  mother / daughter relationship. Mum had bipolar disorder and I am certain she also had borderline personality disorder although I don’t know if this was every formally diagnosed. It didn’t even become a clinical diagnosis until it was included in DSM-III (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in 1980. Don’t be fooled by the name – there is nothing borderline about borderline. It is in fact very full-on!

As I process my mother’s life and death, I thought I might share some snapshots of my life with a mentally ill parent, here on this blog. It’s therapy for me, and hopefully it will help others who may be struggling to deal with a loved one with a mental illness, or are estranged from a family member … whatever. Who knows, maybe one day I will put my recollections together in book form. Or not …

 ***

When I was in Year 7, my siblings and I were placed in the Sandgate Children’s Home when my mother was hospitalised (again).  You can view pictures of the Home in 1900 as well as present day, and find out a little more about it here.

At first I was excited – here was my chance to live out all those exciting boarding school type adventures I’d been reading (can  you tell I was a big fan of Enid Blyton?)!  But the reality was very different.

For a start, I hadn’t reckoned with the overwhelming sense of rejection, desolation or abandonment. Upon arrival at the Home all of our belongings were taken from us, to be stored until our departure. We were dressed in the official uniform – white shirt and blue tunic. What was even worse was that my brother was placed in a separate building for children under school age. I probably saw him only once or twice during our stay.

The Home was situated on what is now considered prime real estate on the Sandgate Esplanade. Every morning we were woken at five, while it was still dark and bitterly cold (it must have been winter). By the time we ate our breakfast in the dining room, the sun was sparkling on the sea through the huge windows.

My first breakfast there was a nightmare. All my life all I’d ever had – and wanted – for breakfast was Coco Pops. But here – they served porridge! I couldn’t think of anything worse. I was forced to eat it but with the first mouthful my stomach heaved and I ran out of the dining room, convinced I would throw up.

Funnily enough, by the time we left the Home I loved our breakfasts of porridge followed by toast and fresh oranges. It was far better than any breakfast I’d ever received at home!

After breakfast we would then change out of our Home clothes into normal gear, ready for school. We were taken into a room lined with shelves of folded second hand clothing, and given anything that looked like it might fit.  Usually it was jeans and a jumper.

A “Nurse” would then walk us, like Madeline, in two straight lines to the local school.  This was a huge adjustment for somebody who had lived in the same house and attended the same school since the year dot. Dressed in my Home “hand me downs” I felt – and I’m pretty sure the other children also treated me – as a second class citizen.  “One of those Home kids”.  I felt lonely and insecure.

The other thing that stands out in my mind was the absolute lack of affection in the Home. The “Nurses” who looked after us were usually very young women and I doubt they had any qualifications. Although some were friendly, others were quite mean. None showed affection – perhaps they weren’t allowed to. Being in Year Seven, I was perhaps the oldest inmate, and quickly became a substitute mother for the little ones starving for love and attention. No doubt this fulfilled some of my own need for human touch as well.  I have vivid memories of sitting on the forms in the TV room with my arms around as many children – including my two sisters – as could fit beneath them!

Every night, as we would walk up the hallway to the dormitories ready for bed, we would pass beneath a picture of the Queen. She looked so much like my mother it would make me want to cry – in fact my youngest sister, got into the habit of saying “Ni-night Mummy” to that picture each evening.

In her absence, we idealised our mother into the perfect maternal figure. The beatings, the arguments, the screaming, all were forgiven and forgotten. We just wanted our Mummy back, and for life to return to “normal”.

When Mum did arrive to collect us, she was not alone. She brought her new boyfriend with her. I was annoyed that he had to intrude on our family reunion, but even more angry that while she was obviously well enough to spend time with him, she was too sick to care for us and so we had been abandoned in the home. I tried not to dwell on it, once again squashing down the rage that could never be released around her, just happy that we were finally going home.

However, going home wasn’t as great as I remembered it. It seemed darker, dirtier somehow, and depressing after the sunny seaside views and routines of the Home. Although it had been a shock to the system at first, I think all of us adjusted and maybe even benefited from the stability and routine of life in the Children’s Home.

Recently I even completed an interview for the “Forgotten Australians and Former Child Migrants” oral history project with the National Library of Australia, about my time in the Home.  I originally requested that the interview not be released until after my death – mainly to protect my mother. How ironic to discover only a few weeks later, that she had actually been dead for over four years …

 PS COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME!

The Race that Stops a Nation

• November
• 2

The Melbourne Cup is often called “The Race that Stops a Nation”.  For a few minutes on the first Tuesday of November, Australians are united by one interest, one passion, one event.  I believe it is this unity, which brings true meaning to the celebrations, from the fancy hats to the special lunches. 

When I was at high school, our lunch hour was extended and the entire student community gathered (willingly!) on the parade ground to listen as the Race was broadcast live over the PA system.  To this day, like millions of other Aussies, I still enjoy the carnival atmosphere in my workplace or at a lunch, and the opportunity to share fun and fellowship with others.  You don’t have to participate in a flutter or office sweep, to get into the spirit!

What a beautiful example of how the Christian race should be run!  In unity, with our brothers and sisters in the Lord – how awesome it would be if our daily lives became the race that stops our workplace, shopping mall, community centre, playgroup, university or school!  Imagine if the wonderful atmosphere associated with our lives, the sense of celebration, made those around us pause, and take a moment to watch us running our race … to ponder or even admire God’s work in us.

After all, the Christian life IS the only race worth running.  So work hard right to the finish line – take courage!  Be of good cheer!  Don’t give up!  Even if nobody else notices (but I bet they will!) or shouts and applauds, you can know for certain, God is with you every step of the way. (2 Timothy 4:7 The Message)  He is the ultimate fan club!

Angel in a Taxi

• October
• 28

The Friday Files - A couple of months ago I found out that my Mum had passed away – four and a half years ago!

Obviously ours was not a “normal”  mother / daughter relationship. Mum had bipolar disorder and I am certain she also had borderline personality disorder although I don’t know if this was every formally diagnosed. It didn’t even become a clinical diagnosis until it was included in DSM-III (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in 1980. Don’t be fooled by the name – there is nothing borderline about borderline. It is in fact very full-on!

As I process my mother’s life and death, I thought I might share some snapshots of my life with a mentally ill parent, here on this blog. It’s therapy for me, and hopefully it will help others who may be struggling to deal with a loved one with a mental illness, or are estranged from a family member … whatever. Who knows, maybe one day I will put my recollections together in book form. Or not …

 ***

Every now and then Mum would come to me with a smile on her face and a spring in her step.  “I’m feeling so good!” she would declare. “I’m weaning myself off my medication!”  She hated taking medication, the side-effects, and feeling dependent upon it.  Naively I would rejoice alongside her . . . now I know that this is the worst possible thing that she could have done, yet from my reading I know that this is quite a common scenario for people with a mental illness like my mum.  

I was about fourteen the evening I walked into my mother’s bedroom to find her sprawled across the bed. Nothing strange about that; sometimes she would hide under the covers in her darkened room for days at a time. However this particular evening she was giggling like a schoolgirl. At first I was happy, glad to see my mother smiling for once but I soon became concerned as although she was talking to me, she wasn’t making a lot of sense. In fact, she seemed very docile and child-like when suddenly she confessed that she had taken “a lot of pills”.

Straight away I realised that she’d taken an overdose and had attempted suicide again, so I called for an ambulance. When the ambulance arrived, they wanted somebody to accompany her. What could I do?  What about my brothers and sisters, aged all of 12, 9 and 6?  We had nobody to turn to advice, there was nobody that could help. So I climbed into the back of the ambulance after my mother’s stretcher was wheeled in, and left my younger siblings in the care of my 12 year old sister, assuring them that everything would be alright and that they should just go to bed like normal. Hopefully, they would hardly even notice we were gone.

Mum clutched my hand on the trip to the hospital, but once she’d been settled into a hospital bed and seen by a doctor she began acting like a spoilt child. The doctors decided that this time she didn’t need her stomach pumped, but they did want her to drink several glasses of a horrible, charcoal-like liquid to absorb the poison.  Right or wrong, Mum did not want to drink that vile stuff and it was left to me to try and get her to swallow it. Every now and then she would have a clumsy sip, and black liquid trickled from the corner of her mouth onto the white paper bib they’d already put on her (just like at the dentist). I tried to mop her up as best as I could, but the stains remained and eventually I gave up on trying to keep her respectable and concentrated instead on bribing her to drink.

It felt like the medical staff were treating her as the lowest possible life-form, as if she wasn’t worth of their time or attention because she’d brought this all on herself.  And so she was left to me.

Eventually, Mum downed most of the liquid and fell asleep, even snoring peacefully. The hospital staff told me I was free to go home. Yeah right! I had arrived in an ambulance hours before, which had long since left on other business. By now it was 3 o’clock in the morning, so there was no public transport available. I was only 14, and had just $7 in my pocket. We lived over 20 kilometres from the hospital, a very long walk, and certainly not safe for a young girl in the middle of the night.  Desperate to return to my sleeping family I climbed into a cab at the taxi rank, and asked the driver to take me as close to my home as $7 would take me. He insisted on driving me all the way home; and when we got there, refused to accept any payment.

It is only as an adult that I realize how blessed I was that night. Anything could have happened to me, but instead I came across a man who cared. Perhaps he was an angel sent by God Himself.

It is my prayer that God will richly bless him and his family for his act of kindness to a girl in great need – thirty odd years ago.

Smile – People will wonder what you’re up to!

• October
• 26

“Whistle while you work … “

We all know this famous tune from the Disney movie “Snow White”. The song is an encouragement to have a good attitude and a smile on your face (although smiling while whistling … that could be a challenge!), no matter what you are doing.

And I’m sure you’ve heard that it takes more muscles to frown than smile (although if you’ve ever been a bride you would know that those smile muscles can get pretty sore by the end of your wedding day!). But did you know there are actual health benefits to putting a smile on your dial?!

 Research has proven that smiling:

•          lowers heart rate and blood pressure;
•          increases levels of the feel-good chemical, serotonin, which elevates your mood;
•          releases endorphins, our body’s natural pain killers;
•          boosts the immune system;
•          and helps us to relax, both physically and mentally!

If that’s not enough to make you flash your pearly-whites more often – Did you know the Bible even tells us to SMILE?!  (Can I hear someone say “Cheese!” instead of “Amen?!”) Just check out these Scriptures:

Ephesians 6:5-8 (The Message): Servants, repsectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God.

Romans 12:5-8 (The Message): If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

We’ve all met Christians who soberly announce, “I’m filled with the joy of the Lord” yet you would never be able to guess it from their face and mannerisms. God wants His people to SMILE! Smiling makes us much more attractive and approachable … so that people will ask us WHY we are always smiling … and then you can tell them the Good News, that there is a God who loves them!

The Impatient Gardener

• October
• 21

?

I’ve never been one for gardening, but in the past twelve months I have discovered a passion for vegetable gardening. Although definitely still a novice, I’ve had some successes: notably with cherry tomatoes, lettuce, shallots and various herbs. I’ve also had a number of failures. My zucchini keep succumbing to powdery mildew. My radishes refused to “bulb” up. Green grubs feasted on my broccolini. If it doesn’t thrive, I pull it out in disgust and throw it in the compost heap. I guess you could say I’m a bit of an impatient gardener!

When my potato plants started to die it was the last straw. Annoyed, I reefed them out – and was amazed to discover the perfect little spuds that had been hiding beneath the soil! (That’ll show you much how much of a novice I am. I thought the potatoes had to at least have flowers on them before being ready to harvest. Apparently not. Who knew?!)

Thankfully the Heavenly Gardener doesn’t treat us the same when OUR lives fail to show any growth! God is much more patient, and never tires of nurturing us, feeding us, pouring out His blessings upon us every single day. He prunes when necessary. But He never, ever gives up on us. Even when others don’t see any progress or anything worth saving in our lives, He does. He sees what is hiding beneath the soil of our lives. He sees our eternal value.

I’m so glad that God isn’t an impatient gardener, like me!

 

Ephesians 3:17 NIV “… I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,”

My Life as a Ball of String

• October
• 19

Kasey* spread an array of household items on the table before us – a couple of clothes pegs, a thermometer, a Rubik’s cube, the head of a toy pony (!), a ball of string, an MP3 player, and several ornaments including an angel, a china bell, an eagle, a kitten and a dog.

Aha! Memory Game! I thought to myself, sure that Kasey would soon cover the objects and ask us to write down as many as we could recall. But it was a much more interesting – and challenging! – activity, that Kasey had in mind. 

“Now, I want you to choose one of these objects, to describe where you are at in your spiritual journey right now!”

The table went quiet as everybody carefully considered which item they would choose to share with the group.

My eyes landed on a ball of twine, with just the end of the ribbon poking out. It reminded me of how we – okay, I! - sometimes retreat and curl up into a ball to protect ourselves. Yet the ribbon breaking free and slowly unwinding really signified my spiritual journey at that point in time. I hadn’t been a member of a small group in years, yet for the past few months I had been joining with these half dozen women for Bible Study and fellowship. Being a part of this group, I could sense myself gently uncurling from the ball I  had withdrawn into.

As I picked up the ball of string, more scenes from my life flashed before my eyes.  Pulling the string tight, I laughingly commented that this was how I had been feeling, dealing with various issues with my teenagers – pulled in all directions, worn thin, a bit frayed at the edges!

Winding the same string around my fingers, I reflected that my job during that particular week was quite busy and stressful, and I was feeling quite wound up.

By this time, the ball of string was no longer neat and tidy, but rather pulled apart, messy – constantly changing – just like me. A couple of thought-provoking books had  recently challenged my views of God, and how we “do” church. All my pre-conceived notions were being examined and pulled apart – and hopefully, prayerfully, re-built the way God wants them to be.

A ball of string is not much use until it is stretched out, snipped, tied up … but so long as God is the one doing the stretching, cutting and knotting, that’s okay with me!

What household object would YOU have chosen?

Begin to weave; and God will give you the thread … German Proverb

*Names changed to protect privacy

A very Footprints fundraiser!

• October
• 14

WE INTERRUPT OUR REGULAR BLOG POSTS TO BRING YOU THIS VERY SPECIAL FOOTPRINTS ANNOUNCEMENT!

You’re invited to a Footprints fundraiser – Light The Dark party:

• Heaps of giveaways including books, CDs, & jewellery – special thanks to the Hope Foundation, Life on Earth music, & Faith Insignias jewellery!
• Yummy afternoon tea (I’m thinking cupcakes, dip & vegie sticks, brownies, cheese ball …)
• Make a big dent in your Christmas shopping!
• Or, just treat yourself to an inspirational book or two
• And you could drop off any Pauls Collect-a-Caps that you’ve been saving for us!

Light the Dark is Australia’s own Christian party plan – come along to view a unique range of faith-inspired books, family friendly products, beautiful jewellery, clothing and gift items. Even if you live too far away & can’t come to the party, check out a catalogue at www.lightthedark.com.au and place your order with editor@footprintsaustralia.com by Friday 21 October and help support Footprints!

Hope to hear from you soon!

Blessings,  

Jesus loves the little children …

• October
• 12