Most of us are familiar with one of the most basic and powerful body language signals – when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest. This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. In a peaceful atmosphere, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed; but in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is expressing opposition. Or it could just mean that the person is feeling a bit cold, especially if combined with rubbing the arms or huddling!

Fellas, if a girl you like shows body language such as tilting her head, touching her hair or neck, makes prolonged or frequent eye contact with you, or shrugs her shoulders or crosses her legs while with you, it’s a pretty sure bet that she returns your interest.

In a job interview, we all know how important it is to make sure we communicate the right body language. Little things like a firm, confident handshake, not fidgeting, and maintaining good posture all help convey that you are confident that you are the right person for the job.

Or perhaps you’ve learnt how to use body language to tell if somebody is lying or withholding information – usually by rubbing the nose or touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking can also be a giveaway. Check the eyes. When people are trying to remember something, they will look up and to one side (this differs according to the person). When they lie, they look up off to the other side.

It’s true, actions speak louder than words! But I think perhaps the best example of body language is one that sends a message of love. It dates back a couple of thousand of years – and you may have heard this saying before …

“I asked the Lord, how much do you love me?

And He stretched out His arms and said ‘this much’ … and then died for me and you.”

Let us preach you, Dear Jesus, without preaching …  not by words but by our example -  Mother Teresa

Attention QLD, VIC and NT residents: we have registered for the Pauls Collect-A-Cap fundraiser. Pauls milk caps have been “top little earners” for a whole host of community organisations in the past – and now – for Footprints Women’s Ministries Inc! Simply save the top from any specially marked bottle of Pauls milk, and give / send them to Footprints. We will receive 10c from every cap collected.

We have a couple of projects in need of funds – our computer is on the way out; and also we are very keen to have a stall at Easterfest 2012 in Toowoomba, Qld.

If you live in south east Qld, email editor@footprintsaustralia.com for your nearest drop-off point – we have Team Members in Cleveland, Rochedale, Manly, Morayfield, Bracken Ridge and more – who will be delighted to take your caps in hand! If you live further afield, you are welcome to mail your caps to PO Box 1962, Cleveland DC Q 4163.

For more information about the Collect-A-Cap program, visit www.paulscollectacap.com.au. Remember – every cap counts!

In the past few months I have received quite a few enquiries asking for advice on starting up a small publication! (I must make it look incredibly easy LOL! Or maybe God is up to something and about to revolutionise the Australian Christian publication industry?!). No doubt there are others who are wondering the same thing, so here are just some of the things you will need to consider before launching your own publication:

1. Title: Check your magazine’s proposed title and make sure it’s not trademarked or registered to somebody else. After much prayer, our magazine’s title “Footprints” came to me in a dream, and at first I thought we shouldn’t use it because it might be “stealing” from the well-known ”Footprints” poem … you know the one … “one night a man had a dream …”. But when I investigated I found there is no copyright on titles, and it was permissable as long as we weren’t cashing in on the name or trying to claim their reputation.  I know of another Christian women’s mag here in Australia that started out as “Embrace” but soon hit difficulties with that name, so after the first issue became known as “Enhance”! So it is definitely worth checking.
2. Finances: I didn’t have an ABN or formalise the financial arrangements until last year …  it was a “hobby” more than anything, I certainly never intended it as a money making opportunity. Besides, I had no idea how to go about it anyway LOL! I did take the time to talk to an accountant, who felt that Footprints was really such small fry the tax office wouldn’t be interested anyway. Up until last year I just had a bank account in my own name, and because my bank knows me well, they let me call it the “Footprints” account and printed this on my deposit book (eg Janet Camilleri Footprints Account). Not only did this mean they were happy to accept cheques made out to Footprints, and not just to me personally. It also made my life easier when it came to cashing money orders made out to Footprints – the post office would only accept them when I showed the deposit book with the Footprints name on it, and I had to use our name and address stamp on the back of the money order. (Not sure why … anybody could get an address stamp made up for under $20!). Not all banks are as helpful, I had some major hassles in the early days and ended up having to switch.
3. Not for profit status: Last year, the Footprints Team decided to incorporate (that means, we are not intending to make a profit from our activities), and we got an ABN. A minimum of seven committee members is required to go down this path. It has meant that we have had to formalise our accounting, meeting procedures etc. Twelve months later I can say that it’s not been an easy road but the time was right and God has helped us every step of the way.  A condition of incorporation has been taking out public and property liability insurance, which is an added financial burden.
4. Legal deposit: Make sure you register for an ISSN (International Standard Serial Number), a unique number used to identify a print or electronic periodical publication. (Books have an ISBN).  To apply or find out more, visit http://www.nla.gov.au/services/issn.html. You will need to send a copy of each issue of your magazine to your State Library and also the National Library in Canberra, under the legal deposit requirements.
5. Count the cost: think, pray, and consider the cost. Running a publication requires commitment. Readers don’t want to pay for a subscription only to have the magazine fold or discontinued due to the editor / publisher losing interest! I know when I started Footprints, I realised that this would quite likely be a lifetime commitment on my behalf. Could I see myself remaining passionate about this magazine for a year? Five years? Twenty years? The rest of my life? Another tip: it helps to have a good team of people behind you too!
6. Hold tight: Magazine / newsletter publishing is not always easy. There are busy times and deadlines, when you have to put your own personal needs aside. There are drops in circulation and advertisers. Finances might be tight. To ride out these tough times, you need to  KNOW that you have heard from the Lord to do this thing. Make sure you have a couple of Scriptures or promises to hang on to. For me, it was the verse about “if it is of God it will happen; if not it will fail”. I forget where it’s from – maybe one of Paul’s letters? Also “out of tiny acorns, mighty oak trees grow” – God really impressed on me to start small (where I was at) and just do that, and He has lead me on and grown it from there.

I hope that I haven’t totally discouraged you! As you can see, there is a lot to think about before you even begin planning your first issue.  I look back now and am amazed about how much I have learnt, and how far Footprints has come in 13 years of publication. If you do decide to take the plunge, it is incredibly rewarding, doing what you love, particularly as an act of worship to serve God and His people. Each new issue brings me a real sense of achievement, and I have met some wonderful people along the way, and developed many new skills.

Don’t forget to send me a copy of the launch issue of your new publication!

Janet Camilleri
Footprints Women’s Ministries Inc
PO Box 1962
Cleveland DC Qld 4163

Wow, what a response to the post on my own experiences of the Quiverfull movement / Above Rubies magazine! With 34 comments so far, it’s definitely a new record on this blog!

Today we have a special guest here on the Footprints blog, sharing her story. In the interests of fairness, I would welcome a story by somebody in the Quiverfull movement who has found it a help and a blessing. If this is you, please send your story to editor@footprintsaustralia.com.  

As the former editor of a magazine that promoted the Quiverfull lifestyle and having being an active board member of the ministry at the forefront of this movement both in Australia and New Zealand, Del Marie doubts if anyone else in either country has had as much exposure to this movement as she has!

Five years ago, as a mother of five daughters, she walked away from all her involvement in these ministries and changed focus to inspiring people to discover their purpose for living and empower them to soar into their destinies.  She is now a qualified Life Coach, freelance journalist, author and conference speaker and heads a ministry aptly entitled INSPIRE.

This is Del’s story … The Aftermath of the Quiverfull Movement

Jane* was pointed out to me at a ladies camp as an example for all women to follow. I couldn’t help notice her disturbing body language and the black rings under her puffy eyes, as she sat there breastfeeding her eleventh baby.  I wanted to talk to her, but she spent the entire weekend avoiding interaction with other women, due to her fragile emotional state.

Mary* surrendered her womb to God, and was churning out numerous babies. Unbeknown to her peers, she was in an abusive marriage and was being subjected to brutal treatment. She eventually had a breakdown and was bedridden for many months while her older children had to care for their younger siblings.

I’ve lost count how many babies Joanne* has had. Every couple of years another baby joins their big happy family. Joanne loves her chosen career, as a mother of many and although she is extremely busy, she is very capable and manages her tribe extraordinarily efficiently.

Fran* and her husband allowed God to plan their family and had as many as they could have, until she reached menopause. Unprepared for the difficulties of raising a high needs child Fran repeatedly physically harmed herself to the extent suicide seemed the only possible way of finding relief.

All the women (*whose names have been changed for privacy reasons) were ardent followers of what is known as the ‘Quiverfull’ movement. This trend surged during mid 1980’s through the distribution of magazines and books that promoted the idea of allowing God plan the size of our families. 

Although the movement has lost much of its momentum down-under, (my sources inform me the interest is swiftly dwindling) there are still a number of families who continue to follow this lifestyle.

The word ‘Quiverfull’ stems from one solitary verse in the Bible where it speaks of a man having his quiver full of arrows; the arrows representing children (Psalm 127:5). A quiver full of arrows can number between 10-15, therefore according to their interpretation this insinuates that God expects all married women to have between 10-15 children! Adherents believe God is opposed to every form of contraception, and if a sterilization procedure had previously been carried out, a reversal was recommended. We were even encouraged to adopt more children from overseas! As far as family size goes – the bigger the better!    

Not long after my first child was born, I was introduced to this ‘Quiverfull’ movement, and was won over by their convincing claims that God’s intention for all times is that all women be ‘fruitful and multiply’. Besides, our obedience to God in surrendering our wombs would reap many benefits, one being that our children would become godly nation changers. 

So I plunged headfirst into the Quiverfull lifestyle, assuming it would guarantee what we saw promoted in their literature – big happy families that would eventually make some remarkable changes to the world in which we lived. I become not only an ardent follower but also a staunch promoter and spokesperson at events throughout Australia and New Zealand promoting their philosophies.  I convinced my husband that we had stepped into the forefront of a movement that I assumed would forever change the face of society.

The pure Quiverfull concept is more than merely having loads of children; it’s a lifestyle that includes home-birthing and home-schooling all of them. They promote exclusivity and strategically plan interaction with like-minded families to avoid worldly contamination of their ever-increasing brood.  One Australian man tried in vain to ship us all to an island so he could establish utopia on earth where all our kids could intermarry and breed a pure Arian-style race of Quiverfullers!

But no one warned us of the possibility of multiple miscarriages. No one addressed the obstetric complications some women would be confronted with. No one factored in the possibility of having high needs children. No one foresaw the condemnation and shame that plagued the women who felt they could never measure up to the perfect godly mother they ought to be. No one cautioned us that the expectations placed on the shoulders of the mothers would drive some to the verge of insanity, and some would tip over the edge. No one warned us that perhaps some of our children would not automatically adhere to our personal convictions as they reached adulthood. No one prepared us as to how to deal with prodigals.

When coming face to face with some of the ‘real’ issues of life many women were terribly ill equipped to deal with them. They started feeling guilty thinking that somewhere along the line they had failed to live up to what was expected of them. Their families weren’t turning out as planned and the Mamas were becoming discouraged. They felt they had bought into a scheme that couldn’t deliver on its promises.

During my promotional tours a number of women regularly secretly confided in me, saying they were struggling to cope with the children they already had. Many discussion boards and emails also highlighted this issue. The thought of more children terrified them. Many were stressed to the max, burnt-out, and some had full-blown depression. Then one day completely out of the blue, one precious Mama who I knew committed suicide. This shocked me to the core. As I sat at her funeral looking at the casket her children had decorated, I vowed I would do my upmost to love and support women unconditionally (without expecting them all to embrace my preferred lifestyle).

After many years of being a prominent spokeswomen for the Quiverfull movement, I embarked on a personal journey of reevaluating many of the associated ‘convictions’ of the pure Quiverfull lifestyle. I began by discarding my Quiverfull dress-code (skirts and dresses only), and bought a pair of comfy jeans. I had my hair cut and styled and I started working part-time. We then decided to put our younger children into a private Christian school.

As soon as word spread through the Quiverfull community that I had ‘changed’ I was shunned, and was on the receiving end of their judgemental criticism. One woman started a letter-writing campaign to me and my former colleagues. I was told I had to repent and turn away from my sins. One of my daughter’s best friends was banned from visiting our home, because we apparently no longer a ‘real’ Christian family. Not one single person (many of them I considered to be very close friends) had the courtesy to talk to me about what was happening in my life, instead I was treated like a leaper even by those who used to promote and arrange some of my speaking engagements.

Up until this very day, few people know whether or not I still believe in the Quiverfull concept. The truth is, contrary to the disapproval from those who think I have not had enough children, my ability to conceive ceased after several traumatic miscarriages, and numerous obstetric complications, some life-threatening. Limiting or increasing the size of our family was a decision that was taken out of my hands.

Whether or not a family chooses to become Quiverfull depends on a number of factors. While I sincerely respect those whose faith is strong enough to embrace this lifestyle, I remain deeply concerned that some women are not able to cope with the added pressures and responsibilities of a large family.

I have come to the conclusion that the success or failure of this lifestyle depends on several factors, with the foremost consideration being the mother’s wellbeing (since she is the one who has to shoulder the load in most families).

Before embracing this lifestyle she needs to ask herself:

• Is she adequately equipped financially, physically, and emotionally to cope with the complexities of raising a large family? 
•  Does she have the extended family structure and suitable social networks to support a big family?
•  Is she physically and emotionally stable enough to cope with multiple childbirths, and the possibility of several miscarriages?
• Does she have the emotional and physical energy to successfully mother newborns, toddlers, teenagers (and all the ones in-between) all at the same time?

This brings me to my conclusion. I now believe that ‘one size does not definitely fit all’ when it comes to family size. Being Quiverfull is a personal decision between each married couple that needs to be carefully considered when entered upon.

Del Marie McAlister
www.delmcalister.com
inspireministries@rocketmail.com

Me & Mel from the Footprints Team, at our 10 year high school reunion.

Have you ever been to a high school reunion? Loved it? Hated it? Wouldn’t be caught dead at one?!

I’ve had mixed experiences. At my 10 year reunion, it felt a bit cliquey and I didn’t enjoy it that much. The best part was being able to “show off” that I was 6 months pregnant with our first child – somebody loved me enough to marry me and have a baby with me! Plus, there’s nothing like a baby (or in this case, a baby bump!) to break the ice.

At my 20 year reunion on the other hand, I had a blast! Why? Because by that stage we’d all grown up, and it didn’t matter anymore who was popular and who wasn’t. I didn’t want to waste a minute and caught up with so many people … I didn’t worry if we’d been in the same crowd or not at school. Only one girl snobbed me off and looked at me like I’d crawled out from under a rock, but I figure that’s her problem not mine (especially as she was propping up the bar with some of the blokes – says a lot I think!).

There was a bit of a catch-up last year rather than a full scale reunion, as it was 26 years after we graduated, but this time I didn’t feel like going (plus it was an hour’s drive away) … so I didn’t. Maybe next time.

I’m just glad I have good memories of the last one, especially when I hear about those who have already passed away. Makes me realise how precious this gift of life is!

But you know which reunion I’m REALLY looking forward to? That will be the FAMILY REUNION in heaven … being with my Father God … and all my Christian brothers and sisters in perfect harmony … not to mention finding out just who I have been able to influence into the Kingdom of God!

(Thanks to Do I really Wanna Blog?: A Letter To My Old School Classmates which inspired this post!)

 

Footprints Team 2010

One of the highlights on the Footprints’ Team calendar is our annual retreat. In years gone by we have stayed at Coochiemudlo Island, as well as Alexandra Headlands and Coolum on the Sunshine Coast … this weekend just past we stayed in a penthouse suite on beautiful Bribie Island north of Brisbane. (Next year I think we need to go to the Gold Coast for something different!). It’s amazing how affordable it is when you get a group together – I highly recommend getting a bunch of friends together for a girlie weekend!

From our arrival at 6pm Friday until Sunday lunchtime, we enjoyed some great chats, participated in team building workshops, relaxed in the spa, took in the ocean views, went for a beach walk, browsed in some quaint stores, and shared some wonderful meals (thanks to Mel, the Footprints resident chef!).

But perhaps the most important event of the weekend was the very special meeting which we held to vote on becoming an INCORPORATED ASSOCIATION. It’s been on my heart for some time to sort out our financial and legal affairs, and the Team agreed. So we voted, and now just have to lodge the forms to complete our incorporation!

The management committee of our newly incorporated association consists of myself (Janet Camilleri) as President (does this mean I can add “el presidente” to my other illustrious title of “the great and glorious leader”?!); Nicola Saad as our Secretary; and Jenny Kalinowski as Treasurer.

Some may wonder, why incorporate? Apart from the financial and legal reasons already mentioned, we felt that this move would help us to become more accountable; allow for future expansion; and enable us to apply for grants to continue serving God and His girls here in Australia. 

It is truly amazing to look back over the past 12 years and see the way God has brought all this to pass, and we are so very thankful!

Next year our Footprints retreat will be even bigger and better … we are planning and hoping that Kathie (our web editor) from Melbourne, and Narelle (our WA rep) from Perth will also be able to join us.

By the way, if you would like to see the photos from our wonderful weekend, you can view them here (even if you’re not on Facebook). And don’t forget to sign up to became a fan of Footprints while you are there!

Hope to be posting again here real soon!

Love Janet xxx
Footprints Editor

But every now and then I receive an email that is really worth sharing, like this one. Hope you enjoy!

Cell phone vs. Bible

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat  our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

What if we flipped through it several time a day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?

What if we gave it to our kids as gifts?

What if we used it when we traveled?

What if we used it in case of emergency?

Or if there is something to make you go….hmm…where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell  phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill! 

Makes you stop and think!