I want to be a THRIVER not a survivor of abuse!

• November
• 25

6:00 am Mental Illness, Survivors of Abuse, The Friday Files

The Friday Files continue …

“Even though it does not draw blood or leave scars, psychological maltreatment is not only a form of child abuse – like physical battering or sexual assault – it may be the most damaging of the three.”  Victoria Secunda

To look at my life now, you would never know what I have been through and yet still come out of it with a smile on my face. My life is truly blessed and I am so thankful to God for all He has brought me through. I love the photo below which was taken about 5 years ago – I think you can clearly see a woman who has made peace with her past, and found true happiness!

You’ve probably read it in the newspaper a hundred times … somebody down and out, or even a convicted criminal, blaming it all on their rotten childhood. It might be that:

• their parents had an extremely bitter divorce;
• they felt abandoned by their Dad;
• they were raised by a parent with a serious psychiatric illness;
• they had not one, but two alcoholic, stepfathers;
• one of their parents attempted suicide numerous times;
• they were kicked out of home as a teenager;
• they spent time in a home or orphanage;
• they received regular beatings and other physical abuse;
• they were emotionally abused, blackmailed and manipulated by a parent;
• they were raised in poverty;
• and told they were a millstone around their parent’s neck.

They felt lost, lonely, forgotten.  And you’d probably be right in thinking, no wonder their lives ended up in such a mess, or they’ve gotten into trouble with the law.

Personally, it just makes me mad. I think it’s a copout. Because I’ve just described the first twenty years of my own life. And yet – I’m living proof that life doesn’t have to be a continual downward spiral.  You can break the pain and the patterns of the past! 

It hasn’t been easy, but I have found peace, love, joy and acceptance, despite the past. So how did I get over my difficult start in life?  The healing process has not been easy and has taken many years, but then I was hurt over many years too.  Nor is it a completed work! I am very much still a work in progress.

Judging by the start I had in life, I feel blessed to even be alive right now.  I could have so easily been another statistic – of suicide, teen pregnancy, drugs and alcohol abuse, a street kid, who knows.

I’ll continue this series each Friday – the Friday files! Next week, I’ll give you just a glimpse of a typical scene from my childhood … warning, contains graphic material that may upset some tender-hearted readers.