Im no parenting expert and my kids are not yet in the teen years(phew for that!) BUT I know for me as a teen feeling like I belonged to the church/youth group was very important and helped keep me “in the church” which also kept me close to God.

When deciding on a chuirch we felt with 3 chidlren that finding a church with a very good and active, fun childrens ministry that treats childrens church as just that “church” not a babysitting service is the most important thing we could look for.
The children grow feeling involved and have a sense of belonging at our church at 1, 7 and nearly 9. I also like that our church has a great transition step for between kids church and youth. We also have a church that places value on serving and I feel this is key to “belonging”. The children are surrounded by this culture.
I pray that surrounding them in this environment and making church “home” will help keep them there through the challenging teen years ahead.

It’s not easy and I pray that it all works out. You guys are awesome parents xx

Posted by Sigrid, on November 7th, 2011, at 6:43 pm. #.

Hi Sigrid, thanks for your comment. Yes I know when I was a teen, it was the friendships that kept me going to youth and church, so I completely get what you’re saying that it’s “all about relationships”!

Another friend has suggested we ask young people from church over for Sunday lunch etc (I can see Mr 17′s look of horror already LOL). Or, in time, they may find their own group of friends who may go to another church and find their way there …

I find it incredibly sad that despite being in the same church most of their lives my kids feel they don’t have friends – what a tragedy (they are also not keen to find another church because we have raised the subject!). They used to have friends when younger but alas most have moved away or left our church so we are back to square one in many ways.

I comfort myself by remembering that God loves my kids far more than I ever could, and He is in control!

Posted by Webmaster, on November 7th, 2011, at 7:12 pm. #.

We aren’t there yet, and haven’t decided on an age to keep them in church.
I was forced to stay in church (mass) while I was in school and I rebelled until after I was married some 9/10 years later. But I still believed in God and can see times where He sent His angels to protect me.
I believe we can all only do our best at the time and pray that God will protect our kids through their teens and young adult years.
I just read ‘Dont Chechen Your Brains At The Door’ and realized that at some stage every one needs to come to their own revelations. It is hard to watch loved ones not accept all that God has for them.
I pray you have smooth sailing and they continue to strengthen their faith… The same prayer I have for me. Xx

Posted by Michelle D Evans, on November 8th, 2011, at 7:31 am. #.

Do Christian parents inoculate their teens against Christianity? My answer is NO. The crafty enemy tries to put the guilt trip on parents at this critical transitional stage. They are at the stage where they will have to choose Jesus of their own free will. You have paved the way for them and they have a tremendous advantage over any other teenager who had little or no exposure to the gospel , the word and the work of the holy spirit.

Teenagers refrain from displaying tangible evidences of their spiritual lives because in order to find their own identity they need to disasociate from the identity they have inherited from their parents. This is NOT rebellion , this is a milestone in their spiritual development.

I have found great peace in accepting the possibility that my children could have chosen not to walk with the Lord. One is not, and believe me, the enemy did not have to look too far for deadly arrows to throw at me and cause me to carry the guilt.

I have frequently heard testimonies of young adults who admitted that for years they were just “attending” church with their parents but did not have a vibrant relationship with Jesus. Yet , they never blamed their parents for ” pushing ” them to go to church, they freely admit that they were complacent, lazy and not coming to that place of personal reckoning. They always thank their parents for taking them to church.

At what age should you permit them to choose not to come with you? At the age you evaluate they have an understanding of the consequences of their choice not to attend (any church that is) and Janet, get heavy handed on that one!

My children thought they would go to hell if they missed one Sunday evening service lol (thank you Pastor Cyril … ROFL)

Your Mr 17 is going to drive himself around soon … So … Am afraid … Mm mm … Let’s not go there (don’t want to freak you out!)

Miss 15 cannot have her cake and eat it too. What I mean by that is: teenagers are self centered (not selfish). She needs to participate to ALL family activities including church.
Tough love required …. She may hate you for it (isn’t it exciting).

A heart felt hug from a young adult who thought they hated you in their teens, is a reward well worth the sacrifice.

At the risk of sounding old fashioned, there is nothing wrong with the rule: while you live under my roof ….

Don’t believe those who say that they walked away from church because their parents pushed them to go when they were young. Even if there is sometime a gram of truth in this, they must not use that as an excuse for staying away .

I read Sigrid’s comment (wisdom beyond her years this girl!) …. and agree totally.

I would look a bit deeper into the reasons why they do not have any friends.

Your children belong to God first, He has them in the palms of HIS hand.

Posted by Dominique, on November 27th, 2011, at 12:16 pm. #.

Dominique, you are a lady I respect greatly & you have done an incredible job of raising your kids on your own. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom here and encouraging not just me but I’m sure plenty of other Christian parents of teens!

Posted by Webmaster, on November 27th, 2011, at 12:33 pm. #.