The Revolving Door

• April
• 16

9:33 am Christian living, God's will

I have been attending the same church for most of the last 15 years, and over that time have seen an almost complete turnover in the congregation! I have made many friends, only to see them disappear from our church and often our lives altogether. I can’t cast the first stone – we left our church too at the ten year point as we were feeling stale. It took us two years to discover - there’s no place like home!

We live in a transient society – moving house every few years, changing jobs and even careers numerous times in our lives, divorcing and remarrying become commonplace. And it seems the church is not immune. Once upon a time you were baptised, married and farewelled at the same church and attended every Christmas and Easter, if not every Sunday, in between. There wasn’t the huge variety of denominations and churches that you find today. There was usually one church of your brand in your area. There were no choices! (And maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing!)

It saddens me every time another family or friend disappears from our midst. As I’ve mentioned already, I can’t judge as I’ve done it too. But if only I could impart the hard-won wisdom that has come from my experiences; I would beg my friends to reconsider their decision to leave their church. The grass isn’t greener elsewhere. Reminds me of a saying I once read: “If the grass is greener on the other side, water your own grass!“

Do I have any regrets about leaving our church for a season? You bet I do! The main one is our children. I think our spell away bruised their confidence and has made it harder for them to fit in and feel a part of the church family, particularly the youth group. They’ve lost that ease and naturalness that they used to have at church and with church folk.

Still it was good to see what else was out there, meeting new people and finding out what God is doing in other churches. However the main thing I gained from our time in the “wilderness” is that it makes me appreciate our “home” church all the more!

People leave churches for many reasons. Offense; becoming stale; a change in minister, or the church’s vision or direction; disagreement with decisions that have been made; feeling left out (sadly); or to find something more suitable for their children or family’s needs. Any of these can cause a Christian to rethink the church they call home.

One of the hardest things about leaving, was then visiting new churches as we tried to find a “home”. Even as Christians, we found it very confronting and nerve-wracking walking into a church for the first time. Imagine how much harder it must be for the un-churched!

Leaving our church – regrets, yes. Difficult? Definitely. Lessons learned – absolutely!

I guess my advice is, if you HAVE to do it, leave on good terms. You never know if you will be coming back … we did!